A feeling of unworthiness can inhibit us from living the fullest lives that we want. It can hold us back from the relationships, careers and ideas that we dream of because if we don’t feel worthy of them, we won’t even try. Or perhaps you do try but find yourself sabotaging yourself part way through. It totally sucks but how do we get over ourselves?
It all starts with understanding self-worth. What is self worth, what determines self worth, and how to boost self-worth?
In this episode, we get to talk to the bright & lovely Jen Miller all about this! Jen is a Holistic Wellness Coach and Certified Holistic Nutritional Consultant (C.H.N.C) whose own journey with self worth and anxiety has provided her with golden nuggets of wisdom that she now shares with us.
Jen specializes in stress resiliency and emotional wellbeing, and works with three pillars of wellness; nutrition, lifestyle and mindset. She’s all about supporting women with their wellness as they navigate various life transitions such as career change, getting married or going from your 20’s to your 30’s – all exciting times of life but also those that tend to bring more stress, anxiety or uncertainty.
Jen was so much fun to talk to and it was a conversation filled with tons of tips, tools and ideas for how to step back into your light. This episode is a little pot of gold for boosting self worth.
Plug in those earbuds, I can’t wait for you to listen!
PS. Click “read more” and scroll to “resource” to view titles of the books/podcasts mentioned.
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Upcoming workshops as mentioned in intro
What’s Your Philosophy to Loving the life you love?
Check in with yourself regularly. Ask reflective questions like: What is my why? What am I still apologizing for? What am I doing that’s not a hell yes?
You need to keep noticing if you’re still in alignment even if you’re on a great path because if you just go on auto drive, you might find yourself getting led astray.
Staying in Alignment
Sometimes we’re a square peg trying to fit into a round hole and don’t even know it. In other words, we’re completely out of alignment with our authentic selves but we don’t have awareness of it. That’s part of Jen’s story - she was trying to fit in, in a high paced, high stress work environment and was getting so exhausted; but she kept going anyway because she wasn’t aware that the role she was in was going against her true nature.
What are you doing that doesn’t completely light you up?
This comes back to checking in with yourself and identify any necessary course redirects (you’re allowed to change your mind!). Jen shares excellent questions to provoke alignment and how she reminds herself to do this practice.
What it is: Knowing that you’re worthy of anything you want in your life. Coming from positive energy rather than fear based.
Jen shares her story on how she’s come to understand her own self worth.
What a lack of it holds us back from: A feeling of unworthiness can inhibit you from living your fullest life because if you don’t think you’re worth it, you’re not going to let yourself have it (relationships, career, sense of validation…). Even if you start making your way to it, you’re likely sabotage yourself from fully basking in the desire.
Low self worth can show up as a constant need for external validation to feel good, a people pleasing mentality and choices that bring you further away from your authentic self.
Jen tells us of how her own self worth issues were reflected in her environment with mean girl relationships and the holding herself back from the “something more”that she knew she was meant for.
How to bust out and boost self worth:
Start taking care of yourself a way that you haven’t before – sends message to self that you’re worthy of being taken care of. This was a catalyst for Jen.
Shift your perception - Jen listened to podcasts, read books, and listened to other people’s stories to expand what she know was possible for herself. Find things that open you up to new perspectives! Listen to different stories and look for the messages that resonate with you
Watch those little habits that shrink you! For example, look closely at what you’re apologizing for and approaching from a place of gratitude and appreciation if possible (ex. late emails. Instead of “sorry for the delayed reply” it can be “thank you for your patience with my reply”). Stop saying sorry for the little things that make you shrink.
TRUST in self knowing and that you already have everything that you need inside of you.
Jen tells us about her personal tools for self worth: journaling, reflection, boundaries, protecting energy
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?
We took a fun and short pit stop to talk about HSP - a personality trait for depth of processing of sensory information. It ties into the conversation around feeling like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Highly sensitive persons process sensory information at an intensely deep level and can be highly impacted by sounds, sights, smells, people’s energies. Because of this, they can be easily overwhelmed or overstimulated. Can feel like shutting down easily.
Planting the seed with this conversation to help you further understand yourself. When you can bring awareness into who you really are, then you can stop apologizing for why you don’t fit into the mold that you think you’re supposed to.
One of Your Biggest Lessons So Far:
You don’t need external validation or approval to feel worthy of doing something. You don’t need to wait for an invitation or permission either.
Another big lesson that Jen’s learned is that to make something happen, you can’t just sit and ruminate – you need to take steps toward it.
What is one nugget of wisdom that you would share with fellow seekers who are on this journey of growth and transformation?
We reach for a lot of external resources to validate our choices/path but sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is to take time and allow yourself to reflect on what you already have inside.
The two books that helped Jen make the big shifts in her own self growth:
The Universe Has Your Back - Gabrielle Berstein
Intuitive Being - Jill Willard
Initial podcast that helped Jen shift her perception:
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
If you have any questions for Jen or want to learn more, connect with her through:
Facebook: Glowing Minds Wellness