My Journey In Finding Purpose
Sometimes people’s journeys seem to have a central theme. When I look back on my journey so far, it seems to revolve around purpose, or what I would now call truth.
As a teenager, I often wondered about my reason for being – not “why am I here?” but “what am I here for?”. This stemmed from an intrinsic (integral) knowing that there was something that I was meant to be doing in this world. Something. It was just on the tip of my tongue…
This knowing grew stronger as the years passed by and eventually manifested itself as a fire in my chest. It insistently declared:
I’M MEANT TO BE DOING SOMETHING MORE
Without really knowing it, I instinctively used this as a beacon to begin searching. One other clue I had is that I knew I wanted to spend my life helping others (I should clarify that it was a vague clue). In university I played around with majoring in biology, psychology, contemplated becoming a physician but then decided that studies in business would be more useful (and to be honest, I’m not sure that a 4.0 GPA was ever really in the cards for me. Lab experiments were not my friend). I didn’t have enough awareness to know back then, but this decision alleviated an undercurrent of desperation that had been running through me. It felt more “right” and the fire in my chest was saying “yes!”
Sounds graceful as I share this with you now, but the suffering was ever so present. As is true for everyone, almost all our suffering is created by the thoughts that we think. At the time, what created the dreadful desperate feeling for me was this idea that I had to figure it all out now. What I majored in would seal my fate. I was so fearful that I was going to make the wrong decision and screw my whole life up.
Knowing what I know now, if I could give my past self a word of advice, I would tell her:
1. Our lives are one big unfolding, one reveal at a time. There’s no final destination to rush to. Even when it comes to your “purpose” that can change throughout your life. Which is why I now call it “truth”.
2. You can’t screw up your life. Even when it’s looking really bad, there’s something worthy in that part of your journey to glean from. At the end of the day, you’ll get where you need to get.
While getting my Business Commerce Degree, I simultaneously studied to become a makeup artist. That was my first taste of alignment and flow. My world was right wide open and bursting with color. There was so much inspiration and so many ideas.
In a simplified way, that’s basically the whole journey – a series of expansions (makeup artist) and contractions (trying to become a doctor). All the while, the feeling of something more was guiding me out of all the places that I wasn’t meant to be.
The same kind of searching that I did when I was choosing my major applied to my professional life. And it will continue to be applied as I keep going on this journey, each time with more wisdom and ease. I have a whole toolkit now to deal with the confusion, frustration and fears; but this is essentially what it’s all about – a constant alignment to your truth and shifting when it’s time. It helps once you learn to listen.
There came a time to say goodbye to being a makeup artist, to marketing, and to human resources. Each shift (unfolding) brought me closer to my truth.
There was a time when I wanted to become an HR Business partner so badly. I never took on such a role. I felt like a failure for not achieving any of my career goals (contraction) and was stuck in a thick fog of not good enough syndrome (it really is our thoughts that cause our pain). As the unfolding of life would reveal, not getting the position I wanted was a nudge from life to put me in the right direction.
My desolate corporate life eventually led me back to the search. This time I tried taking a Yoga Teacher Training (expansion). I could almost hear the *click* as I fell into alignment.
A year and a half later, I started a podcast *CLICK*
Shortly after that, I left my corporate job (it was sooooo time to go) *CLICK*
Then I became a Desire Map Facilitator *CLICK*
And then finally a Life Coach *CLICK* *CLICK* *CLICK*
Rewind 12 years ago when I was about to have a breakdown because I didn’t know what major to choose.
All I had was this knowing that there was something more. This fire that burned inside of me.
I had no idea what my purpose was, what I had to offer the world or what I wanted. Quite frankly, I was confused, frustrated, and stuck.
I could not have guessed that one day I’d share my gifts not just a yoga teacher but also life coach, podcaster and Desire Map Facilitator (whaaaat!) but I just knew that there was this feeling I had to heed – something more.
You can even back this up three years ago when I first left my job. My vision was to run a podcast and teach yoga. But then I started doing Desire Map workshops. And then I found life coaching, which put me into even more alignment with my truth. I didn’t know to ask for it!
This journey is one big unfolding, each step revealing the next. Our job is to make the decisions that align most with our truth and trust that it will lead the way.
You can’t predict exactly where you’ll end up but one thing is for sure - You ARE meant for SOMETHING MORE. If you have a fire burning in your chest, heed it. Get clear on your vision and make decisions the best you can, aligned with your truth now. Learn to navigate the signs, forge through despite the fear and heed the calling.
You’re meant to live a radiant, vibrant life bursting with color!
If you’d like guidance and encouragement as you go along this journey, get started with a free 60 minute intro power coaching session